Just A Former Old Lady
by Jeffyzfavoriteskittle27
Summary: Candace was an old lady, well at least she used to be before Tara came back and Jax sent her packing only he didn't know she was pregnant. Three years later her mom has an accident and she comes home to charming with little Evelyn in tow. *the current chapters are set in season 6*
1. Feels like home

I looked to my right and saw the familar sign, five miles to Charming. I've wanted to come back more times than I could count but I knew I couldn't face him, hell I couldn't face them. I had no choice but to come back now. My mother, God bless her, had fallen and fractured her pelvic bone. She was only 53 but she was stubborn as a damn mule. Her doctor had personally called me and asked me if there was any way I could come take care of her for a few weeks. The damn woman won't rest from what I hear, not that I'd ever call her a 'damn woman' to her face. I smiled at the thought. I'm 24 years old but that didn't mean my mama wouldn't pop my mouth for disrespecting her, busted pelvis or not.

"Mommy I'm thirsty," I looked in the rearview mirror at my beautiful three year old daughter and smiled. She brightened my entire world, her dad used too but then he moved on to greener pastures as they say.

"Honey we will be at grandma's in a few minutes okay?" She leaned back in her booster seat.

"Yes mommy," I sighed content that she was such a good kid, but sometimes even I wish I could run from her tantrums. The thought of that made my eyes go wide. I hoped she didn't have one in the car thats for sure. I came up on my exit sign and I quickly got off and made my way towards my home town. I moved to Oregon when I was 8 weeks pregnant. I couldn't stay here knowing her dad had point blank chosen someone else not even giving me a chance to tell him about the beautiful baby we had made. Evelyn made things so much better and I thanked God every day I had her. I smiled to myself and it quickly faded. Yeah I was more than a bit worried I was going to run into one of them but maybe I just wouldn't. Who was I kidding? Charming is a small town, the news would get to some one and it would get back to them.

I pulled into my mom's driveway and the weirdest feeling came over me and I burst into tears. I was home and this was where I intended to stay at least for the time being. I got out of the car and undid Evelyn from her seat and she took off full speed to the front door. She was so excited to see her grandma. My mom had only been able to make the trip a few times up to Orgeon but I understood. She was on a fixed income and money to travel was expensive. She begged me to come home to forget Samcro and every one in it. I had tried for a month straight and I kept seeing them every where. If not I would see one of the guys and they felt just as bad for me. Hell every time I seen Tig he would give me a hug, which turned into a noogie, no matter where we were. Things weren't the same though. I heard motorcycles and immediately turned around out of habit. I could have sworn one of them was Opie and that caused me to smile. I grabbed our things from the car and headed inside. As soon as I walked in the door I had to set my bags down to go yell at my mother. She had the left side of her body against the counter, putting her weight on it and trying to get a cup.

"Mom what the hell are you doing? You're not supposed to be up. How in the hell are you even moving?" She turned towards me pointing her finger.

"Now you listen here, my grandbaby wanted some juice and I damn well am going to get it for her!" I grabbed her arm and led her to the table making her sit down. I opened her fridge and seen she only had eggs, juice, butter and some left over pork chops in the fridge and I shook my head. Guess I'd have to venture to the store before dinner. I poured Eve a cup of juice and sat her at the table next to my mom. Mom just beamed at her and it tore at my heart strings. I should have came home to visit regardless of her dad. Looking at how much my mom was smiling and laughing I realized she needed us in more than a phsyical way. I sat down on her other side and she grabbed my hand and squeezed it.

"Candace Lynn she's just perfect." I smiled. Yeah she is. "Grandma's got some coloring books Eve, do you know how to color?" Evelyn squeaked.

"I looooooovvveee it!" I couldn't help but grin as I went to the living room and grabbed the three coloring books next to mom's recliner and the crayons from in the floor by the end table and we all three started to color. It was good to be home.

Over the next few hours we colored, watched We're Back, which this mommy hasn't seen in forever and we painted Eve's nails and she had a blast. I looked at the clock at seen it was 4:30 so I figured Eve and I would go to the store.

"Mom, Eve and I are going to the store. Please try to relax." She nodded and turned on some tv soap that she had recorded and Eve and I left. I picked her up and put her in her booster seat. Her blonde hair was pulled up in pig tails and the ends naturally curled. She smiled so big it reached her eyes and I sighed. Lets hope Gemma wasn't out shopping because its hard to deny who's smile that was. I got into the driver's seat and turned the ignition on. Eve started babbling along with the song on the radio and I was at peace, if only it could have stayed that way. I tried to get in and out of the store as fast as I could, but with a three year old who refused to sit in the cart, it wasn't easy. I tried to demand her into the cart, but yeah that only ended in a temper tantrum and I was trying not to be noticed so I allowed it. Eve and I walked through the store and she was obvious she was enjoying herself so I relaxed. I grabbed steaks for dinner and a couple for tomorrow along with a roast, carrots, celery, onions, and potatoes. I finished stocking up on random edibles, lunch meat, bread, chips and pudding and headed to the line. As I was putting everything on the belt, the voice behind me made ne freeze cold.

"Didn't take you long after you left to get knocked up. Guess once a biker whore always one huh?" It was Gemma. I was thankful Eve didn't turn around because it would be too obvious. It was as if God decided I was on his shit list and Eve brought me a reese.

"Mommy can I have this? Hi," She turned Gemma. I mentally smacked myself for coming to the store at this time. Dinner could have waited another half hour. I looked at Gemma kind of waiting for her reaction. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe she looked more like me than I realized. I do have blonde hair though I have red pigments so it has a light orange tint to it. My eyes are brown though Eve didn't inherit those, she does have my chin and lips. The cashier rang up my groceries and the total came to $55.07. I quickly paid for my groceries and said bye to Gemma but she caught my arm.

"Does he know?" Her voice was soft, uncharastically soft. That scared me more than anything.

"Does who know what?" I tried playing dumb.

"Don't play coy with me. Did you not think I wouldn't recognize my own grandkid?" Yeah her temper was back. I guess I kind of deserved it.

"I have no idea what you're talking about. It was nice seeing you Gemma, tell Clay I said hello." I didn't give her time to time to respond and I took off to my car. My heart hammered in my chest. I drove like a mad woman the whole way back to mom's. I could go back and make mom pack a bag and go home. There are no Teller's what so ever at home especially not a Gemma or Jax. Mom would be pissed but I would convince her to go but when I pulled into the driveway I was upset with myself. I can't believe I was actually going to run because of a little incident with Gemma. I was stronger than that and besides it was Jax would had walked away from us. As soon as he realized he had a shot with Tara he left me. Yeah most people consider me the rebound after Wendy but what we had was real. I sighed and hit the steering wheel. Time to put on my big girl panties and deal with the situation I was in. No more running and hiding. We're here for my mother and its tine I stop giving two shits about what Jackson thinks and that's just what I intended to do.

_A/n : read and review please. I know its a short first chapter but I wanted to introduce Candy and Eve. also I have added a time change just a bit after Wendy and before him and Tara got together its only about a year sorry for the confusion_


	2. Throwbacks to you and me

I took Eve into the house and purposely sat her in my mom's lap so she didn't even attempt to get up and help. Eve snuggled into her grandma's shoulder and watched the young and the restless. I walked back out to the car and started grabbing groceries and took them into the house. I've grown a lot in the last three and a half years. I bartend and waitress back home. I'm also back in school, trying to better myself so I can be the kind of mom Eve deserves. I sighed. I've came a long way from being Jax Teller's old lady that's for sure. We had met purely by accident.

**I was coming home from my cousin Stacy's birthday party in Lodi, when my car had decided to take a major shit. I lifted the hood and tried to see if the problem was minor, like me forgetting to put water in it, but from the look of all the smoke It was definately not going to be a simple fix. I kicked the tire and sat in my driver's seat. I seen an older pick up truck coming down the road so I hopped out of the car jumping up and down. The truck pulled over and I walked over to it. The guy driving rolled down his window. He was a pretty big guy, I really couldn't get a guess on height with him sitting down but I'd guess 5'11", his beard was a reddish brown color and he had on a black beanie. His eyes were a beautiful shade of brown, almost like milk chocolate.**

** "Car troubles?" I didn't even notice he had some one else in the car with him so I must have been gaping like an idiot. The passenger had medium length blonde hair, barely grazing his shoulder. I also noticed the black hoodie that read 'SAMCRO' .**

** "Yeah I was just leaving my cousin Stacy's house and the piece of shit broke down." I said looking back at my car and definately not at the gorgeous blonde who asked the question. The beanie guy got out of the car and I was sure my mouth hung open. Remember what I said about 5'11"? Well I was definately wrong. This dude was at least 6'4". The blonde laughed.**

** "I think you scared her Ope," the one called 'Ope' turned and stared at me and I snapped out of it.**

** "I'm sorry I just didn't realize you were so..." I swallowed hard.**

** "Big? Yeah it happens. I'm going to check under your hood but I'm thinking we may have to tow it back to TM." I nodded not even sure what or where in the hell he was talking about. The blonde walked over to the car with him and I felt awkward just standing in the middle of the road but I stayed there any way. It was only a few short minutes until blondie came back. He had mustache growing in but it was really only noticable when the light hit it and that was the same with the hair on his jaw line. His eyes just sparkled such a clear blue. He snapped his fingers in front of my face and I realized I had been caught staring, I blushed.**

** "Sorry," I said looking at the ground. He took his hand and lifted up my chin, making me look at him.**

** "Hey there's nothin wrong with starin'. It's a compliment. Now back to your car, it looks like you've managed to blow the head gasket. It could get pretty expensive. You're going to catch a ride with us back to TM, then someone will tow your car to the shop. And just so when you call your cousin about the hot mechanics, I'm Jax and that's Opie." I didn't think it was possible for my face to get any redder, but I was wrong. I caught Opie rolling his eyes and it caused me to laugh.**

** I got into the truck and sat in the middle of the two. I kept drawing circles on my knees to keep myself distracted. Opie reached in front of me, his arm grazing my leg, to turn up the radio. I tried to scoot over to my right and Jax mirrored Opie's movement, only he changed the station. He had a smile on his face and I figured he did it on purpose.**

** "Seriously,its not cool picking on me. My car spazzing out on me is all I can take today." Jax smiled in my direction and my heart sped up.**

** We conversated the whole way to TM- which turned out to be Teller-Morrow mehanic shop. I don't feel like a complete idiot now. Jax got out of the car and I followed him.**

** "You can have a seat over there darlin'. We're going to talk to someone about picking up your car." He motioned to the picnic tables across the parking lot. I nodded and walked over and sat down. It didn't take long for the blonde haired wonder to come and sit across from me. We talked and talked until a group of guys motioned for him to come on.**

** "Its time for church Jacky boy," he nodded and stood up. He looked down at me.**

** "I'm sorry but I gotta go. Here's my number call me some time." I smiled as he grabbed my hand and pulled out a pen and scribbled on it. I looked up at him and he winked.**

** "I never took you for the type to go to church." He chuckled and started to jog toward where ever the other guys went.**

I was thrown back into the present, and I was standing by the trunk of my car, I had the bag with the roast in my hand. Things had been so good then. That was before things with Tara, hell that's before I even knew who she was. I finished grabbing my groceries and headed inside. I replayed my visit with Gemma in my head. I couldn't believe she called me a biker whore. I'd never even looked at a biker before Jax. I wonder what she was thinking when she saw Evelyn. I guess I would never know. I quickly put the groceries that I wasn't using for dinner away and seasoned the steaks. I grabbed the skillet from the strainer and threw the steaks in. I started peeling potatoes

I started to get lost in my own thoughts. I heard the tiny pitter patter of feet and I looked up and saw my daughter trying to 'hide' behind a kitchen chair. I shook my head smiling. There's no way he couldn't love her. I put the potatoes on to boil and then I walked into the living room. Mom was looking at me like she knew something was up but I shook my head and held up my hand.

"Later mom," she nodded, understanding that I didn't want to talk about it in front of Eve. I got up and went and flipped the steaks. I heard the phone ring, causing me to jerk it was so loud. I heard mom pick up the phone.

"What do you want?" I heard her say, no hello or anything. "And what's that supposed to mean? I missed out three years with my daughter and this precious angel because of YOUR SON'S stupidity." She drew out 'your son'. My hear flew up to my throat. Gemma was on the phone and the last thing I wanted was for them to argue. At one point and time my mom and Gemma had became really good friends and yeah that took a shit quick after Jax dumped me.

"She is somethin Gem, I understand you want to know her but that's entirely up to Candy." I walked into the living room and towards mom's chair and held out my hand.

"She wants to talk to you." I took the phone from her.

"Look I will let you see my daughter on two conditions," I said as I walked out of the room and into the kitchen away from Eve's little ears. I also flipped the steaks while I was in there. They were close to being done so I hovered around the stove.

"Do not bombard me with Jax, I don't want for you to set up a meeting so he can meet her we're both grown adults he can call me; and two I have to be there. Right now you're a stranger and I have to be there the first few times so she gets comfortable." I flipped the steaks one last time, waiting on her response.

"Jax and the guys are doing a run up to Eden tomorrow, so the clubhouse is free." I nodded into the phone. She better not be setting me up.

"You better not be fucking with me Gemma, you're the one that will be losing out." I heard her laugh.

" Honey I'm trying to keep what little family I do have left. I'll see you tomorrow around 1. I'll make lunch." She hung up the phone and I turned off my steaks. My stomach started flipping. Jax was on a run so I wouldn't have to deal with him being there but I would have to deal with him eventually. He at least needs to know he has a daughter. I looked down at the crow that took up more of my left boob's clevage. I could have been more if he would have given me a chance.

_A/N: Thank u guys so much for all the reviews! They all made me smile. I had to take my cousin-who I'm super close too, to the hospital last night and they ended up admitting her . I hope this chapter lives up to expectations. Also thank you to everyone who favorited me and/or the story and the follows as well you guys rock! My phone was blowing up all night lol also next chapters going to hold a surprise...happy reading _

_Btw im also in the works of a story including opie_


	3. Lunch with Gemma

I woke up a little after nine, an hour later than I usually got up. I laid there for a minute contemplating on whether or not I wanted to get up yet. Nahh I'm going to lay here a minute and relax. I glanced acrossed my old bedroom and saw my beautiful toddler asleep in her bed. I looked around the room again; mom hadn't changed a thing in here. My bedroom walls were still burgendy and the carpet was still a plushy white. I smiled remembering how I just 'had to' have it and the way the carpet sucked my feet in. My dresser was still in the same spot, directly across from my bed. My dresser was freaking awesome, I've got no shame in admitting that it came from the trash. It had a mirror that was as big as the dresser it self. I had completely restored in with some cherry wood polish. My mirror had random pictures tucked into the sides of it, a typical teenager thing. God I have really grown a lot since having Eve. I'm really proud of myself. I looked back over at Evelyn, who was still sound asleep in her bed. I was generally surprised she slept so well last night and was still sleeping. I was so worried she wouldn't be able to sleep in a new place but I was wrong. I gently pulled back my covers and sat up. The smell of bacon filled my nose, causing me to shake my head. Mom was cooking breakfast. I was hoping she would stay in bed and relax until we got up but I should have figured she wouldn't. Mom was stubborn as a mule and it was no secret where I got it from. I stood up and started putting my hair into a better pony tail then the one I already had in it. I walked towards my mirror and a picture of Jax and I. It was the day he got voted in as Vice President. He had his right arm around my shoulder, pulling me in as close as he could to him. I remember practically being smushed into his chest. That's the night he pulled his Samcro hat off and put it on my head. I pulled open my small top drawer and it still sat there. I guess I didn't go postal psycho ex and blow everything up like I thought I did. My gaze went back to the picture. That was one of the best nights of my life. That was when we had dreams that included each other and a future. Back then I was Jax Teller's old lady and I loved it. One day we were going to run the club, like Clay and Gemma. I'd plan big dinners on Sunday and everyone would be there. I shook my head. That dream was long gone. I was instantly pulled back into my small bedroom. This is my life now. I'm a mommy and I love every...okay not every moment but most of them. I put my deodorant and started to walk to the kitchen.

I leaned up against the door frame and silently watched mom move around the kitchen. She walked back to the pan and flipped what I'm guessing was bacon and went back to stirring the eggs. Have I mentioned that I fuckin love scrambled eggs? I smiled and rubbed my stomach but mentally scolded myself. I'm a grown adult.

"You know if I didn't know any better, I would say you faked breaking your pelvis." She turned around quickly and started waving the spatula at me. I held up my hands in defense.

"You know damn well if I wanted you home bad enough I would just come get your stubborn ass! And I damn well wouldn't need an excuse to do it!" I shook my head and tried to disguise my laugh. I looked up again and she was engrossed in the skillet again. I went and took my seat at the table. I debated on waking up Evelyn but I quickly shook my head. She's got a big day ahead of her, which spun my head back to what we had to do today. Would Gemma follow my simple rules or would she show up with Jax? I wonder what he looks like now? Wow! Where had that come from? I shook my head trying to erase my thoughts. Of course he still looks good. I smacked myself in the forehead. JACKSON TELLER GET OUT OF MY HEAD! I took a deep breath and relaxed. Okay now that is out of the way. I was so nervous about seeing Gemma it was unbelievable. She's always been slicker than the devil but I always had admired her. She knew what she wanted and she knew exactly how to get it. That was what I always wanted to be; confident, assured of myself and knowing I was irreplacable. I think I've managed to accomplish all of that in the time I've been in Oregon. I know I deserve to be loved because not to sound cocky but I was desired enough. The soft pitter patter of feet drew me out of my thoughts. I looked up to see Eve standing in the door frame. I walked over and scooped her up in my arms and kissed her forehead.

"Did you go potty?" She nodded, as she rubbed her eyes.

"Yes mommy," I gentley sat her down at the table and kisssed her head again. Mom placed a plate in front of her and Evelyn and then sat down herself. I shook my head and made my own plate. I'm not the baby anymore.

The next two hours seemed to fly. Before I knew it was already 11, so I quickly gave Evelyn a bath. Her bath took no longer than five minutes and I walked her in the living room to mom and handed her Eve's clothes.

"Do you mind getting her dressed so I can shower," I asked. She swatted at me like I was a fly. I shook my head and went and got into the shower.

A half and hour later, I was clean, dressed with my make up on and was in the process of curling my hair. I wanted to be 'on my game' with Gemma, because she could smell weakness a mile away. I also knew that my curls wouldn't last long so this meeting had one to two hours tops. My curls came out flawlessly. I gave myself a quick once over. I was wearing my snug light grey tank top that showed off clevage, and that was also my hot spot that I spritzed my curious perfume. I had on my dark denim flare jeans and my white air nikes. I put on my silver heart locket that dipped in between my clevage and I was set. I opened the door and went to walk out and there stood Eve. I jumped back, obviously she scared the shit out of me and she giggled.

"Mommy you look pretty." I smiled. That was the best compliment I had ever recieved in my life. I leaned down and gave her a kiss.

"Thank you sweetie, Are you ready to go?" She nodded. I had mom dress her in an off white baby tank top. Have I mentioned that I think baby tank tops are so freakin cute? Well I do. She also had on a pair of blue flare jeans and her white sneakers. Mom pulled her hair into a ponytail. She looked so cute.

We walked into the living room where mom sat and she smiled when we walked in.

"Well momma, we're going. I'll be back soon. Try to relax and watch your soaps." She nodded and I pretended I believed her. I made a mental note to leave at least ten minutes early to show her I wasn't a dummy. I grabbed Eve's hand and we walked towards the car. I put her in her booster seat and I got behind the wheel. Panic rose in my chest but I took a few deep breaths and tried to calm my nerves. I looked into the review mirror at Evelyn and let out a deep sigh. I am doing this for her. She deserves to know her whole family and not just part of it. It was in that moment I realized that I wanted Jax to meet her, hell in a way I was hoping he would show up just so he could accidently meet her. I am just as hopeless in my head as I am in my heart when it comes to that man. When am I ever going to realize that he chose her? If he loved me there never would have been a choice. I nodded, agreeing with myself and put my car in reverse and headed towards the clubhouse.

We arrived at exactly 12. I got out of the car and immediately got out Eve and we stood there just leaned up against the car. I looked around the parking lot, trying to spot Gemma but instead my eyes landed on the playground and I decided that we would meet with Gemma there instead. We walked towards the playground and I instantly regretted my decision the moment I got close enough to see who was standing by the slide. It was Tara. Eve went straight to the swing and I silently prayed Tara wouldn't remember my face. I didn't want to have the super awkward conversation, 'hey its Kandie 'member me? I was with Jax before you stole him and yeah she's his but he doesn't know.' There's no upside to any conversation with her. Much to my dismay she walked over to me.

"Hey, you must be new here I haven't seen you around." I mentally cussed. Just what I wanted to avoid. I turned to face her and I knew she recognized me.

"Hey no not new here," I said with a laugh that was so fake it was practically Barbie. "I'm here to see Gemma actually." She nodded and I wondered, thankfully not out loud if she was thinking about me breaking her nose the first time I seen her after Jax broke it off. I tried not to smile. Whether she was or not I definately was thinking about it.

"Oh I didn't know you and Gemma kept in touch." I sensed bad blood.

"Nah we didn't. I'm actually in town taking care of my mom." She stared at the young boy coming down the slide. He ran up to her and started talking excitedly.

"Mommy did you see? Did you see?" She smiled down at him and her features softened.

"Yes I did Abel. Why don't you go do it again?" He took off, obviously happy.

"Wow he's gotten so big." She looked back at me, her face still full of the glow only a child could put on your face.

"Yeah he has. We have another son as well, Thomas." I felt a pang in my heart but I refused to let it show in my face. I would not let her know how bad it hurt. Just as I went to respond, Gemma's suv pulled into the lot. I looked back at Tara.

"Well looks like I got to run. It was good seeing you." I walked towards the swing to grab Evelyn. I smiled and waved as I walked by her.

"Kandie?" I turned to face her.

"Yeah," I asked obviously wondering what she had to say.

"I'd really like to get together and catch up while you're in town." I nodded. Not really sure of what to say. I waved bye again and headed toward Gemma. She hugged me, yeah hugged me.

"How are you doing sweetheart?" I sighed. Do I tell her the truth or be polite? She looked down at Evelyn and smiled.

"Its so weird being here without..." I trailer off but picked back up, leaving out his name. "Everythings just so different." She placed her hand on my shoulder.

"I know," she said with a frown. I took Eve's hand and we walked toward the clubhouse.

"Jax is meeting with the irish so we have a few hours."I looked at her kind of confused.

"Thought you said he was going out of town?" She walked towards the bar and placed her purse on it. She reached her hand inside and brought out a few containers of food.

"Shit's been so crazy around here lately I just got mixed up." I nodded, obviously understanding.

"Yeah? I understand its cool. I'm still kinda stunned by the fact that Tara talked to me." She pulled out fried chicken, a salad and mac and cheese. She reached under the bar and grabbed plates and silverwear.

"That bitch is up to something. I just haven't figured out what." She gestured to the food. "I remember how much you loved my chicken so I made some." I smiled.

"I appreciate it," I guess it was time to bite the bullet so to speak. Gemma was adding food to our plates while she had a salad. Eve dug into her mac and cheese the moment Gemma sat it in front of her.

"Evelyn honey," she turned to face me, "I'd like you to meet your other grandma." She looked at Gemma.

"But Grannys at home," she looked so confused.

"Granny is my mommy sweetheart and Gemma is your daddy's mommy. So she's your other grandma." She put down her fork at looked at Gemma.

"Where is he?" Gemma looked at me a little confused. So I answered for her.

"He's meeting with some of his friends on his motorcycle honey, you'll see him soon." I wasn't quite sure what to say and that was the best I could come up with. Gemma let lose the breath she was holding in.

We sat around with Gemma for an hour and a half. I never thought I would ever say I missed her but I actually did. I stood up , getting ready to leave. Gemma leaned down to hug Eve.

"It was really nice to meet you sweetheart. We'll see each other again real soon." She stood up and hugged me again. "It was good to see you too Kandie, you did a good job with her." I felt my eyes start to water as I pulled back from the hug. The door slammed to my right and there standing directly in my view, was none other than Jax Teller. He looked at me for a minute. My heart beat so fast I thought it was going to burst out of my chest. Say something! Anything!

"Hey Jax," I said nervously. As if on cue, Evelyn walked up to us. She threw her hands on her hips and tapped her foot. Jax looked down at her and then back at me. My heart sped into overdrive. Jax looked back at her and squatted down to her level. He put his hand out in attempt to shake hers.

"Hi I'm..."

"Are you my daddy?" I heard a glass break behind me and I turned to look at Gemma. Both of our expressions said the same thing. Oh shit!

_A/n: sorry this chapter took awhile this is the third time I've written it. I didnt like the others. Im sorry about the mix up with the eden thing I have full intentions on blowing up the clubhouse i just skipped ahead by accident. As always read, review and tell me what u think_


	4. I'm so addicted to all the things you do

It felt like an hour had passed but it realilty it had been three minutes at the most. Jax looked at me and I couldn't say anything. I could barely move. I can't believe she said that. She has never once asked about her dad. This is all my fault. I should have explained differently who Gemma was. He looked over at Gemma and I'm pretty sure her facial expression matched mine. He came back earlier than we both expected. And now here we are stuck in this situation. We should have met at her house. He looked back at Evelyn. I wonder what she was thinking? I know she's little but that kid always had a million things going through her head. I looked at him and wondered what he was thinking. Did he realize she had his eyes? Did he see himself in her? Was he going to kill me for not telling him? My stomach did flips.

"What's your name darlin'?" His voice was so soft and smooth it almost made me melt like butter. God that voice used to be able to ease all my fears. I looked at Eve again. She smiled sweetly and walked closer to him. She reached her hand up and rubbed it against his facial hair and started to giggle because of how it felt. Jax chuckled right along with her. I looked over at Gemma and I seen her relax as well. I wasn't letting my guard down though, this could still go down very very badly.

" My names Evelyn, my mommy told me my daddy rides a moder, a moter, a tricycle with his fwends is that you?" He smiled so warmly I started to feel my panic ease. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all. Then I remembered he still could go crazy on me. I know he's going to be mad but there isn't much I can say. He never gave me a chance to tell him, so because of that I never wanted to tell him. Don't get me wrong I really should have tried harder to tell him. I wonder how different things would be if I had talked first that night instead of telling him to.

""I just might know your daddy, I need to talk to your mommy real quick. Why don't you go talk to my mom over there?" I closed my eyes. Yeah this is where my anxieties kicked up again. I really hoped Evelyn didn't realize that I told her that Gemma was her daddy's mommy. That's one of the perks of her being little. Her mind is like adhd. She loses focus quickly. I heard the loud stomping of her feet as she ran towards Gemma. I opened my eyes to see those beautiful blue ones drilling holes into mine. I tried to advert his gaze so I focused my eyes on his cut. My mouth fell open when I seen the 'President' patch. Wow I guess three years was a longer time than I thought. Where was Clay? I doubt that he just let Jax be president. Gemma hadn't brought him up once the entire time we were talking. Was he dead?

"Why in the hell didn't you tell me?" I looked at my feet. He didn't sound too mad but yeah that could change in a split second. As if I had cursed myself when he spoke next his voice took on a menacing tone and I did my best not to look afraid. "You had NO right to keep her from me." I finally looked up at him. He had cut his hair since I last seen him, though it was growing back. I could tell it had been much shorter than that. My fingers started to twitch but I thought twice about scolding them in front of Jax. He would think I was crazier than I already was. I was resisting the urge to run my fingers through his hair. Its been so long since I last was able to just touch him.I took a step forward and stopped myself apparantly I was going to touch him. This is why I don't let me emotions run me. That would have been downright suicidal. I decided it was time to talk, whether I wanted to or not. I made sure I looked him in his eyes.

"YOU got rid of me remember? Not the other way around! You didn't even give me a chance to tell you. It was 'we're through I'm in love with Tara.' Bullshit. " I did my best not to raise my voice but it did raise higher than I intended. I turned to gaze back towards Eve and she was sitting in Gemma's lap. Her eyes focused on me and Jax. I calmed down instantly. She didn't need to see us fighting. I started to walk towards her but Jax's hand caught my arm. I gave him the shittiest look I could muster.

"This ain't over. We need to talk." I shrugged my arm out of his hold.

"And we will. I will come back around 9 when she's asleep. I'll meet you here." I walked away without looking back at him and walked straight to Gemma. I reached for Evelyn and she handed her over. I gave Gemma a half hug and I walked out. It was one of the hardest things I had to do, not turning around to look at his face. Mainly because I knew I was searching for everything wouldn't be there; feelings and love.I arrived back home in minutes. I did my best not to speed but yeah my emotions got the best of me.

I brought Evelyn into the house. My mom was sitting in her chair watching her soaps. My brain was running a million thoughts a minute so I decided not to comment on the factor that I could see that the house was cleaner when I left. Evelyn ran up to mom.

"Granny!" mom opened up her arms and Eve jumped into them.

"How'd it go?" She asked and turned to look at me. I sighed and sat down in the matching recliner next to hers. I don't think my mom has rearranged the living room since after my dad died. The tv, a 32 inch sanyo, my mother has not entered the flat screen age yet, was still perched in the middle of her wood entertainment center. The same two beat up old recliners with the tear in the arms were still here, obviously we were sitting in them. Along the left wall was a couch we got from the goodwill when I was 13. It was tan and super soft. I sunk into that couch.

"Gemma was great. She made her fried chicken that I love so much. Eve loved spending time with her and then Jax showed up." Mom made an 'o' face.

"What happened?" I looked in Eve's direction. She was scribbling grandma Gemma a picture and singing. I lowered my voice so only mom could hear me.

"Eve asked him if he was her daddy and now I have to go back tonight so we could 'talk'." I said and used my fingers to make quotations around talk. Mom nodded.

"And by talk, you mean scream at each other until you're both hoarse." I shrugged my shoulders.

"Maybe we can handle this like adults." Mom slapped her thigh and laughed.

"That'll be the day."

We sat around watching tv until it was time for dinner and of course I cooked so mom didn't have too. I cut the steak up into bite size pieces and started to cook it. I started the water to boil my egg noodles. I put my potatoes on to start cooking as well. I went through the motions of flipping my steak pieces and adding my noodles. The whole time I was on auto pilot. My mind kept going back to those beautiful blue eyes and, how even though they bore holes into me, I imagined how they used to look when they were filled with love, desire, and just plain need. The thought of the need look made my knees shake. God I seriously need to get laid, only problem is I've only had sex with one person and he was definitely not an option. I had made the decision I was going to 'wait' to have sex when I was 14. I didn't want stupid hormones distracting me from my goals. I was successful in my plans until I met Jax Teller and boy that man could charm the panties off of a nun. We'd been together four months before doing the deed. And WOW! I had no idea what the hell I was missing. I 'learned' from probably one of the best teachers in the world. I felt my heartbeat speed up and a familiar ache in my lower belly. Stop it Kandie! The last thing you need to be thinking about prior to your visit with Jax was sex. It had been so long though, almost four years. I hadn't had sex since before he left me. God that was a long fucking time! I had gotten so lost in my thoughts I didn't notice my steaks were done and my noodles would be in a few minutes. I drained the grease out of ny steaks and added brown gravy and drained my noodles. I quickly threw my noodles into my steaks and stirred it all together. I was actually excited for my meet up with Jax though at the same time I was beyond dreading it. I know this talk had to happen though. It was time Evelyn got to meet her daddy. Of all things Jax was, he was a damn good dad. Yeah he wasn't perfect and yeah its possible his dad skills had went to shit since I was gone but I watched his with Abel. I saw the love in his eyes and I felt it whenever we were together spending time with Abel. I hope he would be the same way with Eve. I hope he will be the dad I know he can be. I wish one day we will be a family. Only time will tell.

I felt myself gazing at the clock wishing for time to go faster and yet at the same time I wanted it to go slower. Yeah I wanted to see him; even if I knew he didn't love me anymore and he probably was going to cuss me out when he seen me but I just wanted to be in his presence. I snapped out of my Jax obsessed mind and concentrates on the task at hand; giving Eve a bath. I scrubbed soap in my hands and started rubbing it into her scalp. My daughter's long blonde hair became a sudsey mess. It caused me to smile. I've done things I'm not proud of, I've busted my ass waitressing at bars and letting gross men smack my ass because its in my job description to keep quiet. But I've done everything I have done to provide for my girl. I haven't asked for help. I could have crawled to Gemma's door begging for it and yeah she probably would have asked for a dna test but I've got nothing to hide but I didn't do any of those things. I will say if I regret anything about my baby girl, its that I didn't tell Opie. Ope was, well still is since I'm a loser and refuse to get close to people, my best friend. I miss him so much. I loved Ope, but only in a best friend way. I can't tell you how many times I wanted to call him just to be able to tell him about Eve but I knew he would have told Jax and I would have had a crew of bikers at my door. I lifted my chin and made the decision that when I went to the clubhouse tonight I WOULD find him and we Would talk. I leaned Eve's head back and started to rinse out her hair. I can't wait to see my favorite giant.

I dried Eve off and got her dressed. It was 8:30 and I knew she would be tired soon. Plus I had to get ready to have a screaming match with her dad. I laid in her down in her bed and gave her honey, her build a bear she got for her birthday. She pulled her to him and turned over. I walked to my drawer and pulled out a pair of light blue apple bottom skirt that came down 3 inches above my knees and a black tank top. I went to my other drawer and pulled out a hot pink one to go over it. I went to the bathroom and got dressed. I reapplied my make up while ai had my hot rollers in. I sprayed my perfume inbetween my clevage and on the nape of my neck and took out my hot rollers hair sprayed my hair.

I did a small spin in the mirror and sighed. Why am I still trying to be pretty for him? Oh that's right I want him to realize he was missing out. Only I knew he wouldn't. I sighed again and headed out to the living room. Mom was in her bedroom so I headed in that direction. She was sitting in her bed in her nightgown. I went and sat down next to her and she put her arms around me.

"Be careful baby," I nodded and kissed her cheek.

"I always am mama." I stood up and headed towards her door. "I won't be out too late I love you guys."

"Stay out as late as you want I don't care. You're a grown ass woman." I laughed and headed out the door and on my way to the clubhouse.

I walked into the clubhouse and it hit me in my stomach like a punch. It looked different in here than the last time I was in here but this place never changes, there were still half naked females everywhere and the smell of beer and weed hit my nose so hard it practically burned. For awhile though, this had been home. I searched around and didn't see the blonde wonder anywhere so I headed for the bar and sat down. I ordered me a cup of jager and monster and I was shocked to see the cup was gone so fast it made my head spin...or maybe that was the chair next to me. I didn't look to see who sat next to me as I ordered another drink but the hand on my shoulder caused me to turn around and swing...right into Opie's gigantic shoulder and caused me to hold my hand in pain.

"Well I'd say your mouth overloaded your ass but you didn't even open it yet." I jumped off my chair and lept and gave him a hug.

"Yeah yeah I've missed you too jackass." My cup was sat back down in front of me and I took a big swig of it. He shook his head and laughed.

"You still drink that shit?" I rolled my eyes.

"Ope you're still not cool enough to drink this shit. So what's new with you?" He looked at me and I seen a sadness but he fought well to cover it up.

"Well I got married, to a porn star." I gasped and covered my mouth with my hand.

"No way! How did you manage to be able to deal with that. I know how funny you are?" He shrugged.

" We're working on it. What about you?" I laughed and finished my cup. I was debating on ordering another but decided against it. I hadn't drank in a long time and I wanted to be somewhat myself when dealing with Jax.

"Well I had a baby," he spit out his drink.

"No fuckin way! And you didn't tell me?" I tried not to laugh. Ope could be such a chick sometimes. The bartender sat another drink in front of me and I shrugged my shoulders. What the hell right?

Opie and I sat and talked for an hour catching up. Chibs exited the chapel and I seen Jax sitting at the table. I stood up. What the hell? He had been here the whole time and hadn't even tried to come find me? I was going to kick his ass! I stood up and I had a rush of feel good emotion and I started to giggle. I felt the heat rush to all the wrong places and I made my way to the chapel. Some weird looking guy with stringy black hair that fell in his face put his hand out to stop me.

"Only club members are allowed in the chapel." I laughed and pushed him away by his forehead.

"Blow me I've got buisness with the club president." I walked past him and into the chapel. Jax stood up as I walked in.

"You know you ain't supposed to be in here." I walked tracing the table as I got to his chair. I licked my lips and my gaze stayed locked firmly on his.

"Yeah well I got an appointment with the prez," I said and it came out so seductively I was shocked. Shit maybe I should have been a phone sex operator. His eyebrows went up in surprise.

"Well we can meet up in my dorm room and talk about the baby you didn't tell me about." Trying to play it cool, I see. I gave a low chuckle and stood in front of him.

"I was actually wondering if the prez could do me a favor." He shrugged.

"Depends on the service darlin' cause I'm all about helping out a pretty face." I slowly hopped my hips onto the reaper table, my eyes never leaving his.

"I've got the slightest itch I can't scratch." I spread my legs so he fell in between them. He laughed and ran a hand on his goatee.

"You're drunk Kandie," I rolled my eyes and sat up and pulled him onto me, making sure he was pressed up against me. We fit together even with clothes on as I felt him press right into me. I kissed him hard and sucked on his bottom lip.

"Then don't make me hate myself in the mornin' Mr. Teller." He smiled and pulled me upright and as close to him as possible.

"Now that's a service I can deliver with a smile darlin'." He ran his hand up my skirt and I leaned back against the reaper table. No if I knew anything, I knew that I wouldn't hate myself in the morning.

_a/n: hey everyone thank u so much for the reviews! i put this chapter out as soon as i got done writing it because all of the reviews made me smile. i know opie is gone but i couldnt have him gone so ik it kinds of fucks up the storyline but bare with me btw i unfortunately dont own sons of anarchy kurt sutter does. review please btw i hope u love the ending lol_


	5. I close my eyes and all I see is you

I woke up with a horrible pain in my lower back. I groaned and attempted to sit up, only to discover the pain spread all over my body. I looked down at the blanket covering me and I realized why I was in so much pain; I slept on a table last night. And not just any table, it was Samcro's reaper table. Great just great! The one thing I had set out NOT to do I ended up doing and not just once either. I sighed and looked down at myself. I was thankful to see I had some sense left and had gotten dressed at some point. I looked towards the floor and I spotted my shoes. I quickly hopped off of the table and threw them on. Maybe I could i make a quick exit without running into 'you know who'. I quickly shook off that idea. I had come herefor a reason and it was NOT to get fucked! I came here to talk about our daughter and I wasn't leaving until we did. I had no intentions on having sex with him but it had happened and I needed to move on. I debated on whether or not to leave the chapel and walk out there to find him or sit here and wait. I quickly ran my fingers through my hair in attempt to straighten it out and all it did was make me wince. I had massive knots and my scalp was very sore. I guess I didn't realize he pulled my hair that hard . I fixed it the best I could and sat down at the head of the table and awaited his arrival. I leaned back in the chair and crossed my legs. He better not make me wait long.

It took forty-five minutes for the prince to make his appearance and his expression was nothing less than the 'cat ate the canary'. I avoided the impulse to roll my eyes and I waited for him to take a seat. I pretended to look at my nails to make myself appear bored. He sat down two chairs down from me on my right side.

" Ya know to sit in that seat you have to be a savage." I looked up from my nails, acting as if I had just noticed him.

"Yeah? Well I just may surprise you." I looked around the room. This had definately been remodeled since I left. I looked for the familiar, 'you don't ride, you don't vote.' and I didn't see it anywhere.

"You've always been full of surprises Kandie," he caught me glancing around the room. "A welcome home gift from Charming P.D." I looked at him confused.

"What are you talking about?" He gestured around the room.

"The rennovation, when some of us got home from stockton they had to throw their weight around." I nodded and looked at him.

"I didn't know you did time, I'm sorry." I looked down at my hands, not sure how to say what I wanted to. "I'm sorry about last night Jax, I didn't plan on it. I came here to talk about Evelyn, not stir up old feelings and get caught up in them." He reached into his pocket and pulled out his cigarettes. He pulled one out of the pack and put it in between his lips and lit it. He took a long drag and smiled at me when he exhaled.

"Well darlin', we always did one thing right even when the rest of us wasn't." He was trying to hide his grin as he took another hit off if his cigarette. As hard as I tried not to, I blushed. Why does he still have this effect on me? The worst part about it was he KNEW what he did to me. I decided to change the subject to Evelyn.

"What did you think of Evelyn?" He shook his head and smirked.

"She's definately got a mouth on her doesn't she? When she asked me if I was her dad it blew my mind." I smiled. If there was one thing I knew it was that Eve didn't know how to keep her opinions to herself.

"You and me both," I cleared my throat and concentrated on the reaper. "Um Jax, if you want an uh, dna test, I uh understand." I tried to make it come out straight but it didn't work. I ended up sounding like a babnlung idiot. I looked up as he was unusually quiet. He was staring straight at me.

"Do I need one?" I shook my head.

"You may not believe me, but I haven't been with anyone but you." He nodded.

"Then I don't need one, if I find out you're lying to me I promise you it'll be the last thing you ever do!" I swallowed hard. I seen some of the savage that he mentioned earlier.

"Earlier you said that to sit in this chair you had to be a savage; did it turn you into one Jax?" He looked away from me and ran a hand over his goatee. He stared out into space for a few minutes and then answered.

"I don't even know who I am anymore..." before he could finish, the door opened and Chibs entered the room.

"Aye Jackie boy, that phone call came in ya were waitin on," he said as he had a cell phone in his hand. Jax held up a finger to me and I walked out of the chapel to give him his privacy. I ventured towards the bar, not to drink but to sit in a spot so I'd know when Jax was done. I couldn't stay much longer because mom was home alone with Evelyn and I had already put her out enough by staying out all night and for a few hours this morning. I looked at my cell phone to check for missed calls and I had none. Of course mom's stubborn ass wouldn't call. She wanted to prove that she didn't need help. That woman's pride would be the death of her. I shook my head and stared at the chapel door and shook my head again. That man would be the death of me. I can't say I regret last night as much as I should have. I wish it wouldn't have happened but I can't change it. I will say that the sex made me miss what I once had with him. Isn't that the way it always is? We were great together, I just wish he would have seen it. I sighed and blew the stray hairs out of my face. If only he knew...

Jax walked out of the chapel and started to look around. I figured he was looking for me so I stood up. He spotted me, nodded and smiled. He started walking towards me and I caught myself holding my breath.

"Hey I have to run, I have some people to see and I'm waiting on a phone call from the irish. Do you mind if I swing by later to spend time with Evelyn?" I nodded in understanding.

"Yeah that's cool, does 8:30 work for you?" He shrugged.

"I'll let you know if it changes." I nodded and he gave me a hug and walked out of the clubhouse. I watched him go and then hopped in my car. It was time to go home myself.

The whole ride home I had a smile on my face. I was on my way home to my baby. I hoped she didn't give mom too much hell. I started to feel a little bad but I knew mom wouldn't care. Still she was suppised to be resting and I unintentionally had her babysit. Though honestly I felt more relaxed right now than I had in a long time. I don't know if it was the sex or the break but either way I was happy. Maybe I should try to start dating again. I shrugged my shoulders. Who knows what the future holds? The rest of the way home I sang along to the radio and danced as much possible while driving. I was having such a good time I didn't even notice that I was turning into my driveway. I hopped out and walked into the house. Mom and Eve were sitting in her chair watching the price is right. My daughter was yelling "Go Go you can do it!" I placed a hand over my mouth to stop myself from laughing out loud. Mom turned in my direction and nudged Eve.

"Mommy's home." Evelyn hopped off of mom's lap and was in my arms in three seconds flat. I scooped her up and twirled her around. I started to lavish her in kisses. I walked into the kitchen with her still in my arms. I pulled the pot roast out of the fridge and put it in the sink. I sat Eve down on the counter and looked around for any remains of breakfast. I didn't see any right off.

"Mom did you guys eat?" I hollered from thr kitchen.

"We ate at 8:30 but she might be getting hungry now." I looked at the clock, it read 12:45. I figured I'd cook up lunch right after I put lunch into the crockpot. I got into the freezer and pulled out chicken patties. I handed Eve carrots and celery. I started peeling potatoes, which got done faster than I had thought. I threw the roast in the crock pot and added brown gravy, water, my seasonings and a few pinches of brown sugar. I mixed all of it together and added the potatoes. In the mean time I turned on the grease to start heating up and got going on chopping up celery. I finished that and added the baby carrots. By the time I was done with that the grease was ready. I threw it two patties and waited.

Lunch was done by 1:40. I sat Eve down at the table with her chicken patties and fries. I took mom her plate and I sat down to eat. We spent the day spending time together and watching tv. This was so nice.

Eve fell asleep in my arms around three, so I picked her up and put her in her bed. I came back into the living room with mom and I figured I should at least explain.

"Mom, I..." she held up a hand to silence me. I stared at her examining her expression. She took a long drink of her iced tea. It was in that moment that I almost felt ashamed of what I done. I wonder if she was disappointed in me. I should have gotten over my need for my mother's approval, but I haven't.

"I know you think I'm upset at you but I'm not. You're a grown woman Candace and everyone needs some fun." I breathed a sigh of relief.

"He wants to come by today to see Evelyn." Mom stared at the tv but didn't say anything at first.

"What'd you say?" I sighed and turned towards her.

"I told him to come by around 8:30." Mom nodded and went back to watching her show. For once she didn't have much to say.

Evelyn woke up a little after 4:40. She peeked her head into the living room and grinned when she seen me. I smiled and patted my lap and she came running.

"How was your nap baby?" She smiled and shrugged her shoulders.

"Gooooooddddd!" I pulled her into me and held her. My baby is growing so fast it damned near brought tears to my eyes.

"I really missed you today." She looked up at me from under her lashes.

"I misseda you too. Where wuz u?" I debated on what to say for a few minutes and I decided on a partial truth.

"I went and seen your daddy and he wants to come see you." Her mouth dropped to an 'o' shape and her hands flew up to both of her cheeks.

"fwenchh toast!" I looked at mom. That was a new one. French Toast...wow was all I could say. Well at least she knows Jax wants to meet her. I was careful not to say when in case he didn't make it. I never realized she was missing out by not having a dad. I thought she was content with just her and mommy time, but I was wrong. Before we moved here, she had never once asked about her dad. I knew it was going to break her heart leaving her new found parent. Regardless of that I still had to go home. I had a job there and schools there. Eve and I had a home there. Why did it sound like I was trying to convince myself as well?

As I held my daughter in my arms, my thoughts went to the woman sitting next to me. Her eyes were focused on the news but I had a feeling her thoughts were on anything but the tv. I had a strong suspicion that they were on me. It was very unlike mom to be this way with me. I knew that I wouldn't be able to hold out too long without saying anything but I also had Evelyn's sensitive hearing to put into consideration . I stood up and placed Eve into the recliner and turned to face mom. "Will you help me set the table?" And by that I meant, ' will you come sit at the table so we can talk? She nodded and slowly stood up. An intense look shot across her face and I immediately looped my arm through hers and she led me to the table. I helped ease her down into the chair and I walked into the kitchen and grabbed two plates and Evelyn's disney plastic one and made my way back to the table. I sat each plate in its spot and then sat down to the right of my mom.

"These old bones aren't what they used to be,let me tell ya." I looked off into the direction of the living room at Eve . I just had to come out ans say it. " Are you mad at me for being out all night and leaving her with you? " She turned and looked at me and shook her head. I sighed, not exactly sure of what to say. She says she's not mad at me but this is not my mother.

"I'm just scared you're going to get so wrapped up into him again and then take off like you did before. I know you love him Kandie, but I don't want to lose my daughter again because of Jax Teller." I looked away as my eyes started to fill up. She was right. The last thing I needed was to get wrapped up in his spell and I damn well know he isn't ever going to leave Tara.

" You're right mom, I'm sorry. I'll try to be more careful. I do want him to meet Eve though. She seems to want to know him." Mom nodded and opened her mouth to say something as the phone rang. I stood up to grab the phone and handed it to mom. Her hand flew to her mouth. I put my hand on hers. I didn't know who was on the phone so I had no idea what was going on. She hung up the phone and opened her arms to me.

"Come here Kandie. We need to talk." I quickly got out of my chair and walked over to her. "There's been an explosion at the clubhouse. Jax was inside and I'm not sure if he made it out." I felt the air rush out to me as I hit the floor. Was he dead?

_a/n: Im super sorry this took so long i usually write on my phone since i dont have my own computer and my phone went out i am going to be writing on my ps3 from here on out lol so u will have updates regularly again anywho please review or at least drop me a message telling me what u think and just for the record who else is excited about the season finale tonight?_


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